“Given the the magnitude and number of his injuries, it was something that was virtually instantaneous,” Matthew Rowan said. “He may not have registered what was going on; it might have just been now it’s dark.”
That’s one of the precious few consolations Rowan cited after the loss of his sister’s husband.
Peter Martin, a 43-year father to two girls and finance professional, was the first to die in the hail of gunfire at the Crozet Harris Teeter on Feb. 17. Two others were killed in the gunfire, 68-year-old retired nurse Diane Spangler and the gunman, 28-year-old Justin Barbour. Barbour was shot dead by an off-duty federal agent who happened to be shopping at the store that day, likely preventing further carnage.
The friends and families of the dead, including the gunman, spoke with The Daily Progress to share what they’ve learned about life and loss in the aftermath of the unthinkable tragedy that befell them on Feb. 17.
3 lives. 3 stories.In the wake of a shooting outside a Crozet grocery store on Feb. 17, The Daily Progress spoke with the friends and families of the three who died that day, including the gunman. They shared what they’ve learned about life and loss in the aftermath of an unthinkable tragedy. This is the second in a three-part series.
Rowan said there was another consolation, rooted in his sister and brother-in-law’s decision to move to Crozet three years ago after a decade in Northern Virginia: community.
“They wanted a place for their girls where they could thrive and grow without that level of stress and be surrounded by community,” said Rowan.
In the days since the inexplicable shooting, Rowan said the family home in the Old Trail Village community has teemed with friends.
“I don’t know if you can hear that in the background,” Rowan said over the phone, “but it sounds like a dinner party.”
He said the well-wishers swarmed the family home to make grief bearable for his sister and for the couple’s children, two girls who are students at Brownsville Elementary School.
“He had reached kind of a point in his career where he had a little bit more free time to spend with them, and he just treated it like it was a gift,” said Rowan.
In his professional life, Martin headed credit monitoring and transformation for Santander Bank, a Boston-based subsidiary of an international banking concern.
After getting married at Veritas Vineyard and Winery in Afton back in 2012, the Detroit-born Martin and his wife, Megan, were so impressed by Albemarle County that after renting a house there for her 40th birthday party they firmed up their decision to relocate, said Rowan.
The two, he said, had cared for each other during premarital illnesses and shared a passion for outdoor adventures, including skiing, parasailing, and — for the groom at least — skydiving.
“They loved that level of adventure and excitement,” Rowan said.
Rowan said his brother-in-law was somewhat introverted with a wry sense of humor and that his sister was prone to calling him “Pete the Sweet.”
“I know that people will always make those who have passed seem like a saint,” said Rowan. “But I don’t think I’m dipping into hyperbole when I’m saying that he just was such a kind, thoughtful, empathetic person.”
“As a brother who feels like he needs to protect his sister,” continued Rowan, “and I could say this safely for both of us, me and my brother, we both were like, ‘Oh yeah, this is the guy.’”
Rowan said that after learning her husband had been shot, she rushed over to the Harris Teeter, but police wouldn’t let her see the body.
She was told he had been hit seven times, including in his torso and face, Rowan recounted. She still wanted to see him.
“They were so in love and so connected that she just felt like she needed to have that closure,” said her brother.
Working with Charlottesville-based Teague Funeral Service, arrangements were made.
“And so she had a moment with him privately despite all the horrific stuff,” Rowan. “She came into the funeral home feeling beside herself because there wasn’t that closure. … She left peaceful.”
Like the friends of Spangler, Barbour’s other victim on Feb. 17, Rowan said that while the family may not be be ready to forgive they do feel compassion for the shooter.
“We know that this is not something that comes from a place of health and balance,” said Rowan. “It comes from pain.”
In the aftermath, the family has set up two fundraising appeals, one for the education of Martin’s two girls at GoFundMe and the other for the community. The latter proposes a multipronged foundation to provide mental health and violence prevention and has already raised more than $44,000 toward a goal of $100,000.
“Pete,” said Rowan, “would want that there’d be some good, some lesson that is learned from this, so that we can protect people and not something that is caught up in anger and resentment and grief.”
Rowan said the the snow that fell two days after the shooting provided a welcome distraction for the two girls, whom he said seem to be processing their grief and expressing their emotions with maturity.
“This is the other side of the tragedy,” said Rowan, “the rebirth.”
He said the stream of supporters entering the family home at Old Trail has brought not just comfort but also many moments of laughter and joy — and his brother-in-law would be grateful for that.
“He would want to protect his family,” said Rowan. “He would want to know that they are growing and thriving with what he established and left for them. And it seems like that’s exactly what’s happening right now.”
Source: www.dailyprogress.com