The Nelson County General District courtroom is a place where some of the county’s most horrible incidents are recounted. The courtroom the afternoon of Oct. 2 was a celebratory atmosphere of victims of domestic violence overcoming some of those horrendous events.
The event at the Lovingston courthouse highlighted Domestic Violence Awareness Month for the month of October. A woman who is a survivor of domestic violence spoke of her experiences with abuse and leaving a county resident who was prosecuted by the Nelson County Commonwealth’s Attorney’s Office.
The Nelson County Times is not identifying the woman. She said the warning signs were there after she married her husband, and she endured physical, mental, emotional and financial abuse.
The domestic violence survivor encouraged others to seek help and leave the abusive situation.
“There’s hope and a beautiful life waiting for you,” the woman said. “I would tell them to save themselves. I believed for so long I could save my abuser. I would tell them that it does not get any better.”
Tolerating the abuse only shows weakness in the eyes of abusers, which is what they want, the survivor said. Overcoming her fears in speaking her truth is the most liberating feeling, she said.
“What I went through does not define me, but it did help me shape me into the woman I am today,” she said. “There is a way out, and there is a beautiful woman waiting on the other side of domestic violence.”
Beth Phelps, Nelson County victim witness program coordinator for the commonwealth’s attorney’s office, helped the woman as the case went through the court system. Phelps praised the survivor for sharing her story and taking actions to protect her family.
“You have broken the cycle,” Phelps told her. “I’m so proud of you.”
Nelson County Sheriff Mark Embrey complimented Phelps for working daily to help victims.
“There’s no better advocate for victims of domestic violence than you and what you are able to do,” Embrey said to Phelps. “I truly want to commend you.”
The event included signs placed outside the courthouse including the following statistics: One-fourth of women and one-eighth of men experience domestic violence each year, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the U.S. and children who are exposed to domestic violence are 15 times more likely to be abused or become an abuser.
Embrey praised the Nelson County Commonwealth’s Attorney’s office for prosecuting abuse cases.
“There’s no better team to enforce the law when it comes to domestic violence,” Embrey said. “We are very, very blessed here in Nelson County.”
Embrey spoke of his department’s dedication in responding to such situations.
“Every deputy that we have, from the training, the emotion, the empathy, that goes into every call for service that we have for domestic violence,” Embrey said. “Everything is taken seriously from the time we arrive on scene to sorting out the facts and there is so much emotion that goes into all these calls, we realize that.”
Embrey urged the community and those dealing with domestic violence to know they can reach out to Phelps, county prosecutors, himself, sheriff’s deputies and other partners if they need help.
“There is a light at the end of that tunnel,” Embrey said.
Nelson County Commonwealth’s Attorney Daniel Rutherford said one of the most important tasks his office does is letting victims know the violence doesn’t have to continue.
“There are so many people who care for you here in Nelson County,” Rutherford said to domestic violence victims. “We have a fantastic sheriff’s department. We have a fantastic department of social services. Everyone truly does care. Right now, and in the future, we are here to help each and every one of you.”
Brenda Dunning, supervised visitation and advocacy manager for the YMCA, said the organization has two safe houses in the Lynchburg area for victims to go to if they need help.
“It’s like a curse, it keeps repeating itself, and a lot of times victims grow up in this, that it becomes the norm,” Dunning said of domestic violence. “Somehow, they get tangled in this web.”
She said community partners must work to make sure people can have the tools to help those affected and there are resources available if they want it.
“Statistically, it’s been proven eight to 12 times that a victim will leave and go back,” Dunning said. “Sometimes they don’t make it, and violence is real. It’s real.”
Dunning emphasized the importance of prevention and not just intervention in domestic violence situations. She said a weekly support group is available in the county, victims are taken to safe houses and the local department of social services is involved in referrals and removing children from homes when necessary.
“Little old Nelson County, numbers are increasing. … You want it to get better. What we do know is there is help out there,” Dunning said. “There is help available for each and every person, but they have to want to change, they have to get that point.”
She urged the community to be vigilant in knowing about such services and letting victims know they are not alone.
Rutherford, who has been the county’s chief prosecutor for about 10 years, said in addition to the county government, local faith leaders are a key partner in helping curb the cycle of violence. His hope is that all who are charged with helping victims continue doing so and change lives for the better.
“We care. It needs to stop … and that’s what this awareness is about,” Rutherford said. “Ever since I ran for office, my biggest thing was making sure our victims could be heard, and if they cannot speak, I will be their voice, and that is the one thing I will never back away from.”
Source: www.dailyprogress.com