She wanted to memorialize her son's life after his overdose. She's saved 3 other lives.

What started as a festive memorial to the son she lost to fentanyl has since saved three lives.

After Tonya Shifflett’s 21-year-old son Austin Harlow died from a fentanyl overdose in February of 2022, the Ruckersville woman decided to memorialize him with a Christmas tree at the Greene County Sheriff’s Office in Stanardsville last year. Planning to move the display every year, Shifflett’s tree now sits in the window of Tubby’s Restaurant & Deli in Charlottesville.

“Austin loved Christmas, so having a memorial Christmas tree seemed like the right way to remember him and to help others,” Shifflett told The Daily Progress. “He was the kindest, most generous spirit. He was a hell of a boy and had been clean for three months before he overdosed. Christmas is just hard without him, and I miss him so much. The memorial Christmas tree is my way of bringing light.”

A recovering addict herself, Shifflett said it’s not been easy. Every day without her son is difficult; Christmas, a time when families gather together, is even more so. She didn’t know if she could do it a second time.

“I’m so sad and so angry. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. I miss Austin so much. Setting up the memorial tree this year felt overwhelming, and I didn’t think I wanted to do it,” she said.

What has kept her going is something the Greene County Sheriff’s Office told her last Christmas: Three people who saw Shifflett’s tree had made the decision to enter rehabilitation.

One of those people, now sober, regularly corresponds with Shifflett.

“I’m in contact with one woman who stopped using drugs after she saw the memorial tree and learned about Austin’s death from fentanyl,” Shifflett said. “She entered rehab and is clean today. And that’s one person saved, one person who may not know the pain Austin did, and one person whose family won’t know the pain of losing them.”

Shifflett’s tree was more than a votive candle lit in her son’s memory; it was a shining beacon guiding the wayward back to safety. Her son’s death had effectively saved multiple others’ lives.

Shifflett does not trim her tree alone. She’s invited anyone whose life has been touched by addiction to add to the decoration.

“Anyone can bring a picture of a loved one who is fighting addiction or maybe lost the battle. This tree isn’t just for me. It’s for anyone with a friend or family member struggling or who has struggled with drugs or drinking or any form of addiction,” she said.

Shifflett also has fillable ornaments available for those who wish to write a note about, or even to, their loved one and leave it in the ornament on the tree.

Shifflett doesn’t plan to ever discard the ornaments.

“I have all of last year’s ornaments in a basket, and they’ll be next to this year’s tree at Tubby’s. I keep those ornaments, because it’s a reminder of the battle those struggling with addiction still face. I’ll keep all the ornaments every year, and they’ll stay with the tree,” she said.

Just after midnight on the morning of Feb. 19, 2022, Shifflett’s son was discovered by his girlfriend, cold, blue and lying on the floor of his father’s apartment. Shifflett said emergency responders performed heroic measures to try and save Harlow’s life, but the damage was done. By the time Shifflett was called to the University of Virginia Medical Center later that morning, she said her son’s body was broken beyond repair. He died later that day after 14 hours on life support, his head cradled in his mother’s arms.

Months later, Michael Hayer, the man who sold Harlow the fentanyl, was arrested and charged with distributing a controlled substance. He pleaded guilty on Oct. 14, 2022, and is serving a 20-year prison sentence today.

“I give so much credit to Greene, Albemarle and Charlottesville police. They risk their lives every day trying to save everyone,” Shifflett said. “The police warned me they may never find who sold the drugs to Austin, but they did, and it only took seven months.”

Fentanyl is an incredibly lethal drug; as little as two thousandths of a gram can kill a person. A synthetic opioid, it has been used in small doses to treat people with chronic or severe pain. But drug dealers are increasingly cutting their supply of cocaine, heroin and methamphetamine in order to keep costs down and boost the intoxicating effects of their product.

Harlow’s death was one of 1,951 fentanyl overdose deaths in Virginia in 2022, according to the Virginia Department of Health. There were 1,936 fentanyl overdose deaths in the state last year.

Once Harlow had been found in 2022 there was no way to save his life. While the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved Narcan, a spray that can rapidly reduce the effects of an overdose, that approval came months after Harlow’s death. Even if it had already been on the market, it wouldn’t have helped Harlow. Harlow was home alone at the time of his overdose, and Narcan requires someone else administer it.

It was too late for Harlow, his mother said, but it’s not too late for others.

“I hate what fentanyl did to Austin and to my family. But his death has created so much life. One of his brothers, Zach, is studying to be a pastor and works with others struggling with addiction. Austin’s girlfriend got clean, too. And the tree helped three people enter rehab. I’m so thankful that his death meant others could have life. But I still hate that he died and question why it had to be him,” Shifflett said through tears.

One of Austin’s other brothers, Tyler, is currently incarcerated for drug abuse and tells his mother he plans to enter a drug rehabilitation program upon release.

“Tyler was never in trouble and never did drugs. But Tyler had a hard time dealing with Austin’s death, and he turned to meth,” their mother said.

She said she can still remember something Harlow told her just months before he died, when he was already struggling with drug abuse.

“Austin told me, ‘Mom, I am proud of you and I love you. You never made me an addict. I chose these things.’ I would do anything to hug my son again. My son didn’t know he was taking fentanyl. He didn’t want to die.”

Those who would like to see Shifflett’s Christmas tree or add to its decoration can find it standing in the window at Tubby’s Restaurant & Deli at 1412 E. High St. in Charlottesville’s Martha Jefferson neighborhood.

Source: www.dailyprogress.com